Behavior

 I want to talk about a topic that sometimes can be very misunderstood or become a blame game.  Before I get started, I want to stress that I'm not complaining or blaming anyone.  We all have room for improvement and need to continue to learn in order for the children in our care to benefit. 

Behavior has become a big issue for the last seven years in my daycare.   I have had several children with learning disabilities and behavioral issues that are very difficult to navigate.  You may be unsure of the behaviors, which may lead you to wonder about the cause or how they behave outside of your daycare.  You will likely question what you can do to best meet the child’s needs.  Do not be afraid to ask the parents or other qualified professionals to help you so that you are ensuring the best care for the child.

These types of conversation have been very hard for me to have with the parents of the child.   I believe I can handle a lot, but there have been times I have been exhausted emotionally at the end of the day.  There have been times I have ended my day feeling down right defeated.  There has been a huge shift over the years in what I have seen children display. 

I'm not sure if parents aren't aware there is an issue or that they find it difficult to admit to themselves that their child needs help.  I have always been a huge advocate for the children in my care.  My top priority remains providing a safe environment for all the children in my care.  There have been times I have to explain to a parent that the behavior their child displays affects the safety of the other children and that we need to work together to find a solution.   

The behaviors I am referring to go beyond the normal hitting, pushing, and not getting along.  Screaming, pounding on the floor, hitting furniture or other kids are a few examples. When a child becomes so aggressive that removing that child from that situation or room is the only option in order to ensure the other children are safe it is time to have a hard talk with the parents.  Sometimes when the child is removed to a safe space they are still unable to calm them down.  Being removed has only escalated the child, but leaving them with the other children wasn’t an option either.  I do not have all the answers and I continue to learn new techniques.  I constantly search for new tools and strategies to help the children who have extreme difficulties regulating their emotions. 

There is a huge rise in children with ADHD and emotional dysregulation.  I have found a variety of ways I can better meet the needs of these types of children.  For example,  I have changed food choices and eliminating all cereal as well as most snacks that contain food dyes.  I also acknowledge that the child is having difficulty by communicating with them about  how they are feeling in order to understand the situation from their point of view.  This has been hard for me because typically I am able to redirect a child and help them make a better decisions.  However,  in these moments with children struggling in these ways this isn't an option or something they are capable of in the moment

Most of the time the child is exhausted by nap time from being overstimulated which makes it hard for them to rest causing the cycle to continue throughout the rest of the day.  There is no clear cut answer or solution because every child and situation is different.   Due to the age group of children in my care I believe medication should be carefully considered.   

I have discussed options with parents such as having their child tested in the Birth to 3 program which provides parent with more options; the information also helps me.  

It is one thing to start watching a child in your daycare that you know has special needs, requires more attention, or needs extra help.  However, when a child develops these needs or behaviors while in your care you realize the need to get more information in order to help them. 

The hardest decision to make is to no longer provide daycare for a  child.  It is heartbreaking and a difficult decision to come to.  You have to prioritize the safety and well being of all the children in your care, and if one child is impacting your ability to properly provide for the other children then you must do what is best for the majority.    

Parents also need to realize that this can ultimately be the best for their child as well because that child is not having a good experience at your daycare either.  I know it's hard to find childcare and starting over may seem to be difficult, but this is the best solution for all the children and families you provide for.  

Please reach out to your pediatrician if you think your child is having learning, emotional outbursts, or have a hard time regulating their emotions.  The more information the better, helping your child should always be your main concern.   Parenting is stressful enough and having a child with difficulties can make it even harder. 

            Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.

                                                             Psalm 127:3

Please reach out to me if you have any suggestions or resources on this topic. Thank you